- First, I want to become more conscious of my thoughts and behaviors so that I can cut down on the inertia that creeps into my daily life. Much of who I am is chosen, but I would say that too much of who I am or how I live is unconscious and counterproductive. By "counterproductive" I do not mean that I am not achieving societally approved levels of success. I mean that my own goals, behaviors in which I wish to engage or accomplishments I desire, are often put aside by minutiae.
- In a related sense, I wish to cut down on times during which nothing is accomplished. Again, this is not about working constantly or becoming rich and famous; it is disconcerting to know that there are too many times during which I am neither producing nor recharging. If I am going to have "down time," I at least want that experience to refresh me or engage me in enjoyable ways. When these down periods lead to worse feelings, then they are purposeless. I believe that such "nothing" moments occur because of mindlessness.
- I hope to improve my understandings of stress and how it impacts my body, mind, and relationships, not just with people but with life. I want to be more mindful of the autonomic responses of my nervous system, and I want to learn more about keeping those unconscious reactions of body distinct from my cognitive evaluations of them. This can be achieved by recognizing where one begins, the other ends, and the ways they overlap.
- I want to develop a deeper appreciation of the blessings that surround me by truly recognizing all that went into making my world what it is. Too often I am blinded to these truths because my mind becomes habituated to these blessings and only chooses to focus on what I do not have. This inattentional blindness causes me to cling to what is wrong in my world and ignore what is right. As a result of this lack of mindful attention, my emotions only react to what I am attending to, which leads to more anxiety than is necessary.
- I want to become more objective about my feelings only because they often interfere with my day to day perceptions regarding life. There are days that I cannot as readily appreciate my students, my colleagues, my job, my family, etc. because my mind narrows its focus onto problems and/or responsibilities.
- Since I believe that my mind has learned to shield itself from adversity with protective mechanisms, I want to enhance my awareness of these functions so that I can consciously determine when they are "protecting" me into uncomfortable or unhealthy mental states. I believe that becoming mindful about these cognitive functions may lessen their detrimental impacts.
- I hope to develop more loving-kindness, not just for others, but also for myself. When I falter into mindlessness, I do not want to compound that situation by feeling guilty about my missteps. Being mindful can help me to stop the habit of negatively evaluating the most innocuous thoughts or behaviors. Just as I need not chastise my students for their missteps in order to educate them, I also do not need to belittle myself in order to improve mindful attention to my life.
To summarize, I want to practice mindfulness so that I can:
- Become more conscious of my thoughts and behaviors.
- Decrease unproductive "down time."
- Increase my understandings of stress and how its signals can be utilized constructively.
- Increase my appreciation for blessings that surround me.
- Objectify my feelings so that they work for me and my goals, not vice versa.
- Identify, analyze and evaluate my defense mechanisms to improve self-efficacy.
- Develop true loving kindness that accepts weakness without expecting it.
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